‘Marin has always been good at navigating these unspoken guidelines. A star student and editor of the school paper, she dreams of getting into Brown University. Marin’s future seems bright―and her young, charismatic English teacher, Mr. Beckett, is always quick to admire her writing and talk books with her.
But when “Bex” takes things too far and comes on to Marin, she’s shocked and horrified. Had she somehow led him on? Was it her fault?
When Marin works up the courage to tell the administration what happened, no one believes her. She’s forced to face Bex in class every day. Except now, he has an axe to grind.
But Marin isn’t about to back down. She uses the school newspaper to fight back and she starts a feminist book club at school. She finds allies in the most unexpected people, like “slutty” Gray Kendall, who she’d always dismissed as just another lacrosse bro. As things heat up at school and in her personal life, Marin must figure out how to take back the power and write her own rules.’
The Rules for Being a Girl blog tour starts today and I have a review of this brilliant book to share!
I read Rules for Being a Girl cover to cover in one go and was both glad to see in print something that so accurately depicts and addresses the different rules that women have to live by, compared to the male experience of the world, and saddened by just how much of how Marin feels is identifiable as how women are made to feel every day, and how we are made to adapt our behaviour and change to make ourselves more acceptable. When looking at literature and media in general, there is simply so much produced that only perpetuates the idea that women are only important insofar as how they respond and are useful to men (see the ‘female, dispensable sidekick’). Much of the problem here lies with how, historically, men have had command of society and thus able to decide what, in terms of art and literature, is acceptable; an issue that continues to run rampant in the production of a popular media that is largely under male control. In short: young women need more books such as Rules for Being a Girl: books written by women, that tell them that they are not alone and that the ‘rules’ need rewriting.
I found Beckett’s behaviour particularly disturbing and spent much of the novel feeling rather nauseated by his behaviour and wishing for Marin (and every other student, really) to get as much distance from him as possible. His behaviour is utterly despicable, especially given his position of power and what should be a responsibility for Marin’s wellbeing, and while I wanted to believe his school would permanently remove him from his role (as they should), it also felt that his being believed innocent – as an adult male in a position of responsibility, compared to Marin being young, female and therefore assumed to be creative with the truth – was inevitable. If I were to ask, I’m not sure that I could find a single woman that I know who hasn’t, at one time or another, had a man’s word or understanding believed to be better than hers simply because he’s a man. Marin’s initial reluctance to report his behaviour only serves to highlight the fear that women live with every day, that to speak out is to be branded a liar and to have their own reliability and reputation tarnished for calling someone out for something unacceptable; to ultimately be made a target. And this is exactly what happens to her, horrifyingly (but not surprisingly) with the full encouragement of a man who bears responsibility for her safety in the school environment.
In starting her feminist book club, Marin begins to see that to make assumptions about others, based on thing such as rumour and appearance, is as wrong as the assumptions that are being made about her. It also begins to challenge her about her own views and encourages her to examine the nuances of her beliefs and those of those around her to find a way to not only engage in measured debate with others (without jumping to conclusions), but create common ground and take a genuine interest in the lives of those she has previously not taken into much consideration. Together, the group starts to examine what feminism is and challenge the preconceptions that go hand in hand with the term, while learning not to assume who can and cannot be a feminist. As she gets to know Gray better, Marin is met with the struggle of deciding when she feels it’s appropriate to let him stand up for her without it feeling as if she is being undermined, or whether she can show affection and support him while still remaining a feminist.
Rules for Being a Girl is an excellent and thought-provoking read about the imbalances that continue to exist in a society that likes to tell itself that equality of the sexes exists. In a world that says women’s rights have improved a great deal, is it not time to consider that that subjective elements of equality in particular spheres are not, in-fact, the progress that we need most? Claiming that equality is here does not make it so. Nor does getting defensive when challenged about it.
Thank you, My Kinda Book, for the proof copy of Rules for Being a Girl and for the opportunity to be part of the blog tour!